What to Do When Your Kid Doesn't Want to Travel

Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of comments from parents who are planning incredible trips for their kids, only to have their kids not want to go. Even with kids who typically love to travel, there are those moments when they simply refuse to do an activity, or when they reach a destination only to announce it's boring, or worse, they just don’t want to leave their comfort zone.

So what do you do in these situations? Do you leave your kids behind and travel without them? Or do you force them to come along, even if it means enduring their misery? Today, I want to dig into the reasons behind this common issue and share strategies for handling it.

As a parent of three teens and someone who's spent decades as an outdoor educator, I’ve spent plenty of time with kids who aren’t thrilled about being there. From this experience, I’ve gained insights and ideas for dealing with reluctant travelers. The ideas below are based on my own years of experience with kids over the age of 5, and they may not apply to younger children.

I’ve written a more in depth article about this over at Chasing ADVNTR that goes into how to manage kid’s who don’t want to Travel.

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Step 1: Identify the Problem

The first step is figuring out why your kid doesn’t want to travel. The reason could vary, and how you handle it will depend on the cause of their reluctance. Here are a few common reasons kids might resist travel—below, I’ll suggest ways to address each issue.

1. Fear of travel itself – flying, driving, etc.

2. Social fear – missing out on friends, school, or sports

3. A need for control – they want a say in the decision

4. Unwillingness to leave their routine and comfort zone

5. Fear of the unknown

6. They don’t understand why travel is fun and assume they’ll be bored

7. Concern about missing their comforts, like their phone or favorite foods

   

How to Know Why They Don’t Want to Travel

In an ideal world, your child would just tell you why they don’t want to travel, and sometimes they do. But more often than not, they may not even know themselves. I recall a trip to Ecuador when my 14-year-old daughter became moody during carnival festivities. Rather than saying she was uncomfortable in a foreign environment, she sulked and complained of a headache. It took a few adjustments and some time outside the city before she started to feel comfortable and open to adventure again.

To uncover the cause of your kid’s reluctance, start with a simple, open-ended conversation. Avoid judging their reasons or immediately jumping to solutions. If they respond with vague answers like "I just don’t want to go," ask more indirect questions like, "Where would you like to travel?" or "What would your dream vacation look like?"

Try to keep your questions hypothetical. Instead of asking, "Why don’t you want to go to Florida?" ask, "If you were going on a trip to Florida, what would you want to see?" This allows them to share their thoughts without feeling judged.

General Things to Keep in Mind

Before I dive into specific strategies, it’s helpful to reflect on the value of travel from a parent’s perspective. Travel provides immense value, even when it’s challenging. It creates lasting memories, teaches new skills, and encourages growth and new perspectives. Travel can also be an opportunity to overcome challenges and, of course, have fun. Although kids may not always see these benefits, it’s important for parents to remember why they believe travel is worth it.

Travel Is Valuable – Even When It’s Tough

As a parent, you likely see the long-term benefits of travel: bonding time, expanding horizons, and learning experiences. Kids, on the other hand, often don’t grasp these benefits right away. Instead of lecturing them about the advantages of travel, it can help to reinforce your own belief in its value so you’re ready to approach the situation calmly.

Family Time Means You Won’t Always Like Everything

Another valuable lesson we’ve learned is that, as a family, we won’t always love everything we do together. That’s okay. We don’t insist our kids enjoy every activity, but we do ask that they don’t spoil the experience for others. My son, Finley, especially dislikes vacations that involve sitting on the beach, while his twin sister loves it. We don’t force him to like it, but we ask him to make the best of it, just as we all make the best of things we don’t enjoy in everyday life.

Give Them a Voice

Sometimes, giving kids a say in the trip can help alleviate their reluctance. While they may not be able to pick the entire destination, allowing them to plan a specific activity or choose where to eat can give them a sense of control, which often makes them more willing to engage in the trip.

It’s Okay to Be Uncomfortable

The comfort of home—predictable routines and familiar comforts—can make travel feel intimidating. Travel forces us to step outside our comfort zones, and kids may not always see the value in that. For them, it’s easier to stay in their familiar space. While it’s important to acknowledge the discomfort, remind them that discomfort can lead to growth and new experiences.

How to Address Specific Concerns

Here’s a breakdown of some common concerns and ways to address them:

1. Fear of Travel Itself (Flying, Driving, Etc.)

Sometimes kids are scared of travel itself. They may have heard scary stories or seen news articles that make flying or driving seem risky. Addressing this fear starts with providing accurate information and reassuring them about the safety of travel. For older kids, discuss whether fear should stop us from doing something or whether it’s an opportunity to overcome it. If their fear is too strong, you might consider starting with a less daunting trip—like a road trip before taking a flight.

2. Social Fear (Missing Out on Friends, School, or Sports)

As kids get older, their social life becomes more important, and they fear missing out on activities or events at home. While you can’t force them to leave their friends behind, you can emphasize how short-term sacrifices can lead to valuable family time. Remind them that they can reconnect with friends or catch up on schoolwork when they return.

3. A Need for Control

It’s natural for kids to want control over their lives, especially during adolescence. Allowing them to have a say in certain aspects of the trip—like picking an activity or helping to plan the itinerary—can help reduce resistance and make them feel more invested in the journey.

4. Unwillingness to Leave Their Comfort Zone

Travel means stepping outside of familiar routines, which can be unsettling for some kids. One approach is to allow them to maintain some comforts during the trip, like using their phone or eating familiar foods. Alternatively, reassure them that stepping outside their comfort zone can lead to exciting and new experiences.

5. Fear of the Unknown

Travel involves the unknown, which can be intimidating. If your kids are afraid of what they don’t know, try providing them with information about the destination. Showing them videos or reading books about where you’re going can help them feel more prepared for what’s to come.

6. Boredom

If your child has never traveled before, they may not understand the fun that comes with it. Emphasize that travel offers the opportunity to explore, create memories, and make the best of any downtime. If they feel involved in planning activities, they’re more likely to look forward to the trip.

What Not to Do

While there are things you can do to ease your child’s reluctance to travel, there are a few things you should avoid:

• Don’t leave just one kid behind (unless it's truly necessary). While it’s okay to occasionally travel without them, excluding them too often will create resentment.

• Don’t insist they’re happy all the time. It's important that they understand they don’t need to pretend to enjoy everything, but also that they shouldn’t ruin the experience for everyone else.

• Don’t stop traveling. If one child doesn’t want to travel, don’t cancel the trip. Find ways to work with their concerns while still moving forward with the plans.

If you have other reasons your child doesn’t want to travel, drop a comment and let me know!

Have fun out there,

Gretchen